Thank you for returning for the discussion on criteria #5 in the series on Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I have already discussed the first 4 criteria in previous blogs so check those out as well. I will be spending 9 blogs discussing the 9 criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition, or DSM-5. If you can fully understand the criteria used to make the diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, then you can better understand someone with the disorder, or even just the traits they might show.
Today, I will discuss the fifth criteria in the DSM-5 for Narcissistic Personality Disorder: “Has a sense of entitlement (i.e. unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.”
When someone is entitled, they think they should be treated differently and are better than everyone else. We have all felt entitled at some point and this is normal. However, entitlement with the narcissist is different and more extreme. When a non-narcissist feels entitled, it is based on their actual accomplishments. For the narcissist, their assessment of their accomplishments guides their feelings of entitlement, however, they don’t have actual accomplishments to show. They incorrectly view themselves as competent and high achieving, even in the absence of proof.
The narcissist also has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment and they do not modify this expectation based on what is happening around them. The narcissist believes they are the center of attention and things should be done for them. They can’t consider others in their expectations. If you have known a narcissist, you have likely seen how they will walk all over other people, and people standing in their way are seen as an inconvenience for them.
Yes, this could happen with most people for important things such as job opportunities and other big accomplishments. However, the narcissist feels entitled to everything. Regardless of the reason someone is getting something, they think they should as well, even if it wouldn’t make sense for them to.
Additionally, the narcissist doesn’t understand why a rule or law exists if it inconveniences them. They explain how stupid or worthless the law is and refuse to follow it.
The narcissist also thinks there should be automatic compliance with their expectations. This relates to their inability to understand the perspective of others. They live in a fantasy world and falsely view themselves as the best at everything they do. Because they think they are all-knowing, they view themselves as experts in everything. If they have an expectation of what you should do or how something should be done, they expect immediate compliance. To delay in complying, or to not comply at all, means that you don’t truly understand how great they are.
If the narcissist doesn’t get their way, they will enter into one of their many punishment tactics to remind you who is in charge and who controls the relationship. The narcissist lacks empathy and cannot relate to others, so they don’t understand why you don’t feel the same way they do. They also must always protect their fragile senses of self and the possibility of being exposed as a person with low self-esteem who lacks actions to back up their words.
The narcissist might give you the silent treatment, enter into narcissistic rage, or gaslight to convince you that you are wrong, and they are right. No matter what punishment tactic they use, they will continue to see themselves as not only entitled in their expectations that led to your punishment, but also in their use of the punishment tactic to show you how wrong you are.
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