In today’s blog I am going to discuss the term flying monkey and how it is part of the narcissist smear campaign at work. The term flying monkeys was taken from the movie The Wizard of Oz and has been used in popular culture when describing people who assist the narcissist in their game of manipulation and control. In The Wizard of Oz, the flying monkeys did not act independently of what the Wicked Witch told them to do. They were used by the Wicked Witch to carry out her evil deeds while she sat back and watched.
In the real world, the flying monkeys are the people recruited by the narcissist to carry out their smear campaign against another person. The narcissists are masters at their game of control and manipulation, and they can easily bring people into their world to work against someone they are targeting. When they can get someone else to do the dirty work for them, their hands remain clean and they can continue to gaslight by trying to convince their partner, and others, that they are not the problem.
For the purposes of this blog I will refer to a narcissist and their partner, however, the person the narcissist is trying to do a smear campaign against can be a partner, parent, child, friend, co-worker, or any other person in their life. When the narcissist uses a flying monkey, triangulation occurs. Triangulation is when a third party is used to communicate between two people. In the situation with a narcissist and their partner, the narcissist will use the flying monkey to triangulate by placing all communication between the narcissist and their partner through the third person.
Through this method, the narcissist manipulates a relationship by controlling the communication that gets presented to their partner. When the third person, or flying monkey, is used, then information can be conveyed in a one-sided manner that doesn’t allow for communication or confrontation between the narcissist and their partner.
The narcissist will choose a flying monkey whom they believe validates them and will pass on messages in a way that supports the narcissist while belittles their partner. The flying monkey is rarely an impartial third party because that would not serve the narcissist in their intended goal of control and manipulation. The flying monkey cannot have their own opinion, especially when it is counter to the narcissist and their intended goal.
The flying monkey is doing the dirty work for the narcissist, but they are also responsible for the negative interactions created. The flying monkey will gossip, gaslight, and create chaos between the partner and the narcissist to create and maintain a smear campaign. The flying monkey works at the requests of the narcissist, but gets their own satisfaction from the chaos created, which results in them being enablers. However, the flying monkeys are also being played and manipulated by the narcissist and they have been drawn in through some of the same methods the narcissist has used on their partner such as love bombing and hoovering.
Throughout all of this, the narcissist can sit back and play the uninvolved third party. The issues can be seen as being between the flying monkey and the narcissist’s partner. Narcissists create tangled webs of people that support their game of control and manipulation. Each person is a pawn used by the narcissist in their game of blame and playing the victim. The sooner you can distance yourself from the flying monkeys and the smear campaign they launch, the closer you become in stepping away from the pull of the narcissist.
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