Most of us have received a text, phone call, or email from a scammer. Some ask for us to donate to a charity while others claim we have come into exceedingly large amounts of money because of the death of someone we never knew in another country. Most of the time we can notice these messages are scams and don’t get involved. However, there is one type of scam that has become increasingly popular since the start of the pandemic and that is the romance scam. What is a romance scam and what type of people fall for romance scams?
First, a romance scam is when a scammer (criminal) creates a fake online identity as a way to gain the trust and affection of someone else. They then use this pretense of a relationship to manipulate the victim and steal their money. The scammer preys on the vulnerable who are looking for someone to talk to and connect with.
The romance scam isn’t new, but it has been able to grow substantially with the intent of the internet, and then with online dating sites, social media, and games you can play with others. With the internet, it is easy to hide behind a screen and become whoever you want to be. You don’t even need to share pictures of yourself because pictures of others can be readily found online. The ease of creating fake versions of yourself is what makes the romance scam so easy for criminals to use in their deceit against others.
The scammers are excellent in knowing how to manipulate their victims. They listen intently to their victims’ lives and can pick out their insecurities and vulnerabilities. They will use techniques such as love bombing to draw a person in as quickly as possible while making the victim feel cared for and valued.
Love bombing occurs when the scammer showers the victim with gifts and affection to gain control. Love bombing is a popular tactic used by a scammer to gain and maintain control through manipulation. These acts can occur through words or actions such as being told they love you and you are the one for them, or receipt of gifts. Feeling wanted and valued feels good and helps connect and bond you to this person. However, love bombing from a scammer in a romance scam is not meant to make you feel good for your own happiness but meant to serve as a way to draw you into their scam and set the stage for later manipulation and control.
The love bombing is a stage where the romance scammer can weed out those whom they don’t think they can manipulate. The scammer wants their victim to be someone who readily feeds into their attempts to win them over with their words of affection. This is required for them to build the bond that they can later manipulate to engage in the scam.
In the romance scam, the relationship moves quickly, and trust is quickly gained. While the victim is becoming connected to the scammer through the love bombing, the scammer is setting the stage for the fraud that will be committed.
The romance scam can be devastating to the victim because they feel used and taken advantage of. They were vulnerable when they opened themselves up to the scammer and then they learned they were being used for the other person’s benefit.
People fall for romance scams because the scammer is a master at their craft of breaking down people’s vulnerabilities to develop trust quickly. Anyone can be the victim of a romance scammer and if you or someone you know has been a victim, know that you are not alone. You didn’t do anything wrong and the scammer is the person at fault. According to the Federal Trade Commission, in 2019 victims lost $201 million dollars from romance scams. This shows that the scam is calculated, and if you have been a victim, you are not alone and should not be embarrassed for being a part of this scam from criminals.
At Mindset Therapy we provide mental health services in Texas and Washington from trained professionals, via telepsychology, which allows you to attend the appointment from the location most convenient for you. Visit Mindset Therapy at https://www.mindsettherapyonline.com/ to learn more about the services offered and make an appointment. Also visit our YouTube page, Mindset Therapy, PLLC, for the Mental Health Minute series that provides quick pieces of information for common mental health issues.