Romance scams have become increasingly popular, and victims have lost hundreds of millions of dollars in a single year to the romance scammers. In my two previous blogs I have discussed why someone would fall for a romance scam and signs of a romance scammer. Today, I want to discuss traits of romance scam victims. My goal is to help educate you so that you can protect yourself, or those you love, from romance scammers. Understanding the traits of romance scam victims will help you know who to be the most concerned about possibly being scammed.
To recap, a romance scam is when a scammer (criminal) creates a fake online identity as a way to gain the trust and affection of someone else. They then use this pretense of a relationship to manipulate the victim and steal their money. The scammer preys on the vulnerable who are looking for someone to talk to and connect with. Don’t think romance scammers are only on dating sites. They can also be found on social media sites, professional networking sites, and through games that allow you to play with others. Romance scammers can be found anywhere it is easy to create a fake profile and maintain a position of anonymity.
The scammer looks for people who are the most vulnerable. Those who are vulnerable, unfortunately, can oftentimes be more easily manipulated. This person might be without friends or family, lonely, or widowed. They are looking for someone to connect to and the scammer knows what to say to pull them in. The romance scams are marked by the scammer moving quickly and professing their love to someone soon after meeting. For someone who is lonely, these words can mean so much to them.
Another group that is often targeted by the scammers are older people. One reason is because older people are more likely to have retirement funds or other assets that can be stolen. Older people are also more likely to have cognitive deficits which could make them easier to manipulate.
People with high levels of empathy are also at an increased risk of being scammed. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of someone else. Someone with empathy can emotionally understand what someone might be going through and can place themselves in the position of the other person even if they haven’t been through a similar experience. The romance scammers like to tell sob stories as a way to get money from the victims. The person with high levels of empathy will emotionally feel the pain expressed by the scammer and want to assist anyway they can. They become focused on making the life of the scammer better, and miss the red flags that they are being scammed.
Although there are some people that might be more susceptible to a romance scammer, it can happen to anyone. If you meet someone online and the contact is unsolicited, or they come on strong after you have reached out to them, you want to assess the situation and consider the possibility of being scammed. We live in a society where things might move faster than they did in the past, however, you never want to feel uncomfortable in the interaction with another person. To protect yourself, never reveal identifying information early in conversations because this can later be used against you.
If you have been the victim of a romance scan you might feel embarrassed. You may blame yourself for not seeing who the person really was. You replay all the conversations you had and the meetings that were cancelled and wonder why you didn’t know better and see what was happening. Don’t beat yourself up for what has happened to you. The scammers in romance scams are masters at their craft and they have perfected their crime. You did nothing wrong and were simply being a caring, trusting person as most anyone would be. If you continue to feel embarrassed and regret what has happened then you are allowing the scammer to continue to control you and your emotions. You are free from the scammer so now is the time to start focusing on yourself and regaining your confidence. If you find that you struggle in trusting others after being scammed, you can also consider attending therapy as a way to better manage your symptoms and feel less alone.
At Mindset Therapy we provide mental health services in Texas and Washington from trained professionals, via telepsychology, which allows you to attend the appointment from the location most convenient for you. Visit Mindset Therapy at https://www.mindsettherapyonline.com/ to learn more about the services offered and make an appointment. Also visit our YouTube page, Mindset Therapy, PLLC, for the Mental Health Minute series that provides quick pieces of information for common mental health issues.