When will things go back to “normal”? Will it even be the same normal I knew before? These are questions I often hear from patients as they start to process what things will look like as stay-at-home orders are lifted and businesses reopen. Going into this, your focus was on the physical health of you and those around you. Staying home and making changes to your schedule and life were what needed to be done. Some of you may be settling into your new routine, while others may be struggling to adjust.
What initially seemed to be a short timeline for restrictions, now has the potential to go into 2021 according to various reports. Making things work in the short-term is doable, but how do you make things work in the long-term? Those plans you had for the summer, or the attendance at professional sports events are all put on hold. Or are they ? The situation is further complicated by the recent news on re-opening businesses and relaxing the restrictions on gatherings. Planning for a future in which nothing is known is difficult and creates anxiety. So how do you manage the unknown and decrease unhelpful worry that could be leading to anxiety and even panic, while living with continued uncertainty?
Identify what the problem is: Oftentimes, people think they are problem-solving when they are actually overthinking or worrying. How do you tell the difference? When you problem-solve, you are actively looking for a solution. And most importantly, there is a solution to be found. When you overthink, you are worrying and overanalyzing. There is often no solution to the problem, which is why you find yourself worrying about the problem repeatedly. For those things that do not have a solution, you cannot problem solve because you don’t have an end point to your thought process. You find yourself in a continuous cycle of worry, with new things to worry about added on.
Make a plan for the identified problem: If you have identified a problem that has a solution, make a plan that will help you reach the solution. For example, if the problem is how to pay your bills with reduced income, develop a budget that includes the new income amounts.
Set it aside if there is no solution right now: If you find that you are overthinking about a problem that has no solution, then put that concern to the side for now. Worrying takes emotional and mental energy and doesn’t lead to any change in the situation. When you can put unhelpful worry to the side, you free up the ability to focus on finding solutions to problems you can solve.
Laying down dots: Laying down dots is a term I use in therapy. When you worry, you find that you have this long pathway of worry thoughts that is never-ending and often has branches off the original worry. You may start worrying about whether you will get your job back, and this has led to worry about your health. There is no direct connection between the thoughts, but the outcroppings develop because that is what worry does: it creates new things for you to worry about that feel very real and very much related to the initial thought. The “dots” are each new worry thought. While you might feel like you are solving the problem by laying down more dots, you are actually pulling further away from the problem and creating a long trail of dots. Now that you have identified those worries that are problems and those that are overthinking, only lay down dots that will get you to a solution. Lay down a dot one to two steps ahead of where you are right now. This will allow you to stay focused on the problem and how to get to the solution. The fewer dots you lay down, the easier it is for you to re-evaluate and adjust your plan.
When you find yourself many steps ahead of the actual problem, and even lose sight of the problem, then you have likely started to overthink and are engaged in unhelpful worry. During this pandemic with COVID-19, there are many unknowns and it is normal to start to worry. Ensure your worry is leading to problem solving and not overthinking to better manage your mental health. Visit our recent blog “How COVID-19 Can Affect Your Mental Health” for more tips on how to feel in control even when you start to feel out of control.
If you find your mental health is being affected by all of the changes, it is best to seek help sooner versus later. At Mindset Therapy we provide mental health services in Texas and Washington from trained professionals, via telepsychology, which allows you to attend the appointment from the location most convenient for you. Visit Mindset Therapy at: https://www.mindsettherapyonline.com/ to learn more about the services offered and make an appointment. Also visit our YouTube page for the Mental Health Minute series that provides quick pieces of information for common mental health issues.