If you have been reading my blogs or watching my videos for awhile, you have seen my material on narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I discuss behaviors the narcissist does that are due to their narcissist traits and how it affects people around them. I have touched briefly on each other diagnostic criteria at some point, but have not made a video dedicated to each of the individual criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Over the coming weeks, I will individually discuss one of the 9 diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder that is found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition, or DSM-5. Fully understanding each of the criteria needed to meet a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder will help you better understand the disorder, or at least traits of the disorder.
The first criteria to start off this series is #1, “has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g. exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.”
Let’s break that down by starting with what it means to be grandiose. If someone is grandiose, they have an unrealistic sense of superiority. They think they are better than others, but also criticize others for being inferior to them. The person thinks they are special and important. They boast about accomplishments that can be real or imagined, dismiss the accomplishments of others or try to do more than someone else as a way to feel superior, believes rules don’t apply to them, and gets angry when someone provides feedback that can be viewed as criticizing or making them appeared flawed. The person who is grandiose appears self-centered and arrogant.
The narcissist who exhibits grandiosity thinks they are entitled to special treatment because they are superior to others and have talents others don’t. For example, if there is a wait at a restaurant, the narcissist expects to be moved to the front of the line. To wait in the line with others would assume they are equal to people around them.
They may also look down on other people because everyone else is seen as inferior, and by extension, unimportant. The narcissist lacks empathy and cannot emotionally connect to other people. They see their world only from their perspective. To think of others as inferior is how they feel better about themselves, without concern or regard for how the other person feels. They also can’t consider someone would feel upset if they were seen or treated as inferior. An example of this behavior would be treating staff in the services fields with disrespect. The person that waits on them, works on their cars, or otherwise provides a service are not seen as equals to them and don’t deserve to be respected.
When a narcissist is grandiose, they may exaggerate their achievements. They explain accomplishments in excessive detail to make the accomplishment seem bigger and better than it actually was. They are masters with their words and can make most anything seem like a success that only they could have pulled off. They expect to be seen as superior even in the absence of actual proof of their superiority, other than their words.
While some of these traits of grandiosity might sound positive, this is different than being confident or having high self-esteem. Grandiosity is being unrealistic in your views of yourself while at the same time putting people around you down because you view them as inferior. Combine that with a lack of empathy and you have a person who has trouble connecting to others. This then creates more problems because while the narcissist might want to appear superior to others, they actually have low self-esteem they must always protect from being exposed. They don’t have coping skills to manage their emotions if people see them as flawed, and they must protect against this at all costs. And remember, to a narcissist, flawed simply means being like everyone else, which the narcissist would never want to be seen as.
At Mindset Therapy we provide mental health services in Texas and Washington from trained professionals, via telepsychology, which allows you to attend the appointment from the location most convenient for you. Visit Mindset Therapy at https://www.mindsettherapyonline.com/ to learn more about the services offered and make an appointment. Also visit our YouTube page, Mindset Therapy, PLLC, for the Mental Health Minute series that provides quick pieces of information for common mental health issues.