Thank you for returning for the discussion on criteria #6 in the series on Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I have already discussed the first 5 criteria in previous blogs so check those out as well. I will be spending 9 blogs discussing the 9 criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition, or DSM-5. If you can fully understand the criteria used to make the diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, then you can better understand someone with the disorder, or even just the traits they might show.
Today I will discuss the sixth criteria in the DSM-5 for Narcissistic Personality Disorder: “is interpersonally exploitative (i.e. takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends)”.
As I have mentioned in various other discussions, the narcissist thinks only of themselves. They expect to be treated different from everyone else, that their expectations will be met with no delay, and they expect to get what they want no matter who is in the way and how they need to treat them.
The narcissist will exploit others for many different reasons, with the common factor being what will benefit them the most. The narcissist will exploit another person’s emotions, need for approval, or how they can make the narcissist look better.
The narcissist will continuously walk all over people to get their needs met. They don’t care how it affects the other person. What they care about is how long they can use the other person as someone they exploit. If the other person starts to act as if they are catching onto the narcissist’s game, the narcissist will either love bomb or discard. If they think the person is capable of continuing to be exploited, then they will do everything in their power to ensure the person remains in that role. This person is serving as a narcissistic supply and the narcissist doesn’t want to seek out another supply if they don’t have to.
The narcissist likes to have loyal people in their lives who will forgive them again and again. This prevents them from needing to find a new supply, and helps them learn how to best exploit them due to repeated opportunities. Loyalty also allows the narcissist to believe that they truly are the entitled person they want people to believe they are. The narcissist does best when they can not only exploit people for their own gain, but also have the person stick around and continue to be a ready supply.
Even if someone appears to have a good relationship with the narcissist, all people are viewed as potential threats by the narcissist. The narcissist is always watching for when the person might become a threat and can quickly move into exploitation. One reason a narcissist can quickly move into exploiting someone they cared about previously is because of their lack of object constancy. They see a person for who they are in that moment and cannot retain good and bad thoughts of the person at the same time. If the narcissist deeply loved and cared for the person the past few months and would do anything for them, none of those matters to the narcissist if they feel as if they are a threat in anyway. The narcissist will be unable to retain the positive thoughts and will only see them as a threat that must be addressed.
This criteria is another way in which the narcissist thinks only of themselves and isn’t aware of how they affect others, but also doesn’t really care. They need their needs met to protect against narcissistic injury and if others need to be taken advantage of in the process of protecting themselves, they are ok with that.
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